NickStage8

Famous Nick Di Paolo Quotes:

NickStage8 150x150 Famous Nick Di Paolo Quotes:

Nick Di Paolo Famous Quotes

ON ANIMAL TESTING- “IF HOOKING A MONKEY’S BRAIN UP TO A CAR BATTERY IS GOING TO SAVE SOMEBODY FROM DYING OF AIDS IN TEN YEARS…I HAVE TWO THINGS TO SAY…THE RED IS POSITIVE AND THE BLACK IS NEGATIVE”

ON HIS HAIRY GIRLFRIEND- “WHEN SHE PUT ON A PAIR OF NYLONS SHE LOOKED LIKE FIDEL CASTRO ROBBING A BANK”

ON SUPREME COURT JUSTICE ELENA KAGAN- “SHE SAYS THE CONSTITUTION IS A LIVING BREATHING THING….TOO BAD SHE DOESN’T FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT A SIX WEEK OLD FETUS.”

ON HIS FIRST PROSTATE EXAM-“THE DOCTOR WAS POKING AT ME WITH HIS INDEX FINGER LIKE A HOMELESS GUY TRYING TO GET A QUARTER OUT OF A PAY PHONE”

ON INVITRO FERTILIZATION- “I READ WHERE A WOMAN WAS CARRYING NINE BABIES AT ONCE AND THERE WERE NINE SEPARATE UMBILICAL CHORDS…WHEN THEY DID A SONOGRAM IT MUST HAVE LOOKED LIKE THE BACK OF AN ENTERTAINMENT CENTER.”

ON PARIS HILTON- “THIS BROAD IS SO STUPID, SHE DOESN’T GET A PERIOD EVERY MONTH….SHE GETS A QUESTION MARK.”

ON HISPANICS HAVING BABIES-“ WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THESE PEOPLE CONDOMS AREN’T JUST FOR SMUGGLING COKE ANY MORE ”

ON 2002 OSCAR AWARDS- “THE LAST TIME I SAW THAT MANY BLACK PEOPLE IN HOLLYWOOD WITH GOLD IN THEIR HANDS… THEY WERE RUNNING OUT THE FRONT DOOR OF ZALES DURING THE L.A. RIOTS”

ON DICK V.P. DICK CHENEY’S HEART- “THE ONLY V.P. YOU COULD ASASSINATE WITH THE WORD “BOO!”

ON POPE JOHN PAUL II- “NEAR THE END, HE HAD THE POSTURE OF A JUMBO SHRIMP”

ON PIZZA- “I’VE NEVER HAD BAD PIZZA…TO ME PIZZA IS LIKE SEX…EVEN WHEN IT’S BAD…..YOU STILL HAVE TO PAY FOR IT.”

ON MY WIFE: “My wife is so frigid if i go down on her too fast i get an ice cream headache.”